


The Teardrop

by igi_pigi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 10:17:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igi_pigi/pseuds/igi_pigi
Summary: Post-Infinity War reunion of Thor and Jane.Forewarning - heavy angst.[Set right after the movie]





	The Teardrop

**Author's Note:**

> I see this as an AU of sorts because (a) I don't think it'll happen this way and (b) even I don't want it to be this angsty. But this won't leave my head. So.

She never thinks of that day. That fateful day.

The day he left... and never returned. All he told her - coldly - was that he was leaving, and that she should not wait for him. That was all the explanation she was worth to him.

She did everything she could to make him stay. She asked him why he was doing this to her. She begged him to not abandon her. She cried that she would die without him. She cursed, blamed him, called him cruel and heartless. She even accused him of getting rid of her.

But it was no use. As always, he'd made this decision for her. He only had one answer for all her pleas: "If that is how you choose to see it."

"You're lying!" She had sobbed. "You can't-- I know you."

He only stared at her and said, "No, you don't. Don't wait for me."

With that, he had turned to leave. And maybe he was right, she never did know him, all while she bared her soul to him. And now it was over. Still, she ran and held his arm for one last effort.

"Tell me you don't love me." She looked up at him desperately. "Say it."

Her cheeks were wet, eyes red. His were dry. He stared into her crying eyes for a few painful moments - unblinking and stony-faced - and then spoke his final words to her.

"No, I don't love you."

Her hand dropped from his arm on its own. He turned and left, never looking back.

She slowly sank to her knees, crying "you're lying..." to no one in her empty home. She collapsed on the floor and cried and cried until she couldn't see anymore.

 

 

Jane never thinks of that day.

But today, she cannot help it.

She is in Athena, Greece for a conference that got canceled for unknown reasons. So she decided to make the best of it and wander around the streets, enjoy the night like the tourist she was this far away from her home.

But wherever she goes, she is seeing and hearing news of the happenings in New York, Scotland and now Wakanda. Otherworldly aliens and Avengers. And it's these that are bringing back all the painful memories.

In the way they always do. Whenever she hears of anything involving the Avengers, she instinctively thinks of him too. She shakes away the bitter thoughts just as soon. But today, she feels so surrounded with them that despite her best efforts, the dreadful memories are seeping through the cracks.

_"Don't wait for me"_

_"No, I don't love you."_

Jane stops at the end of a street, breathless, looking at the dead end in front of her. She closes her eyes, pulling her open shirt she wore as a jacket over her dress to hug herself. All she can see is his face how she last saw it - with none of the kindness and warmth... telling her to not wait for him.

Jane suddenly turns, looking around wildly. She thinks she heard the news broadcast in the nearby cafe call _his name!_  Thor in Wakanda? No, this can't be...

She peers inside, looking like a rookie shoplifter. Her conscience is screaming at her to stop. Because even if he is, how does that matter? She is nothing to him. And for some reason, she feels relieved to see that it was a mere heard rumor on their part, with no footage in its support. She takes a deep breath. Even in blurred news footage, she can't bear to look at him again.

 _Stop thinking about him!_ she chides herself. She is anxiously fiddling with her necklace chain and irritably wondering just why can't she get him out of her head today - when it starts.

At first, it's just people screaming and running around in confusion. But then - they are turning to ash right in front of her! She can't believe her eyes. People are just vanishing into thin air... dusting away... whatever this is. All she knows is that she needs to get away from here.

She is regretting wearing high heeled wedges tonight as she takes frantic steps towards her hotel from which she has wandered quite far away. People inside shops and restaurants are vanishing, those who are alive are losing control of themselves, running into each other. Even amidst the chaos, she is sure she saw blue lightning stir up the black sky not too far away. She turns to see a few others look at it too. It was there. She is not imagining it.

Is it... him?

Staring upwards has her rooted in spot while everyone around her is still running. And a car, having lost all 2 of its passengers, is coming her way. She notices it a bit too late to do anything about it than stare at it dumbfounded.

Before it can hit her, she feels someone land beside her, pull her to himself by the waist rather sternly, and fly upwards. It happens so fast that all she can do is hold on to his shoulders. But she knows it's him. She knows his touch - more intimately than she has known anyone else's in her life... It's him.

And the first emotion she feels is anger!

Before she can even look around, let alone do anything, she feels him landing them down on the roof of a tall building. She shoves him away as soon as her feet touch down.

"Get-- away from me!" Jane screams. "How dare you touch me?" She takes a few steps back to look at her savior for the first time. And it's Thor, but... he looks so different. Short hair, heavier beard, different armor... And what is that in his hand? Mjolnir is weird enough a weapon. But this thing makes him look like an actual butcher.

"What..." She wants to question all this but only watches as he carefully braces that axe like thing at the concrete fencing behind him.

She looks around and down the building, trying to comprehend what is going on, noticing the chaos has died down some. It is only then that Thor dares to look her way. There she is, looking just the same... His Jane. Though he is a little confused by her choice of clothing for a conference. Not that she doesn't look beautiful in it. Beautiful and... quite angry at the moment. Of course, it only a mask for her hurt. The hurt he caused her.

"All this..." She looks at him again, and he shifts his gaze to where she is pointing, stoicism back as his mask. "I'm guessing it's all thanks to you."

"And why are you here exactly?"

"Can you hear me?"

Thor looks up, finally meeting her eyes. "I had to see... that you were alright."

Jane looks around. Is this real? This douchebag buzzes off for two years, abandoning her to die. And all of a sudden, he is standing in front of her with a head to toe makeover and telling her he _cares_ for her safety. This cannot get worse. She wants to slap him so bad and so hard.

"I'm sorry?" She settles for mockery, not wanting to be near him. "Why do you care?"

Thor looks at her as if he cannot believe she would ask that. As if they weren't living together for two years. Sharing a life, sharing everything they had, each other. But it's alright, he tells himself, she has every right to be furious with him. Besides, she doesn't know what is going on and how relieved he is to see that she didn't vanish away (something to do with the reality stone, he reckons). He's surprised she hasn't slapped him yet.

Thor lowers his eyes and answers earnestly, "you are my responsibility."

Jane scoffs! This got worse. Did he really... Anger taking over, she takes a step towards him and speaks in clear words. "No, I'm not, you asshole!" Then scoffs again. "You have some nerve coming--"

"You're still wearing it..."

Thor is staring wide-eyed at her necklace... the necklace he gave her. A simple chain and a locket of a shiny red stone - all of which he made himself during one of his visits to Asgard. Right from carving the stone out to giving it a teardrop shape. He didn't mind the cuts in his hands, or how long it took to make. It wasn't perfect or polished enough they way the dwarves of Niðavellir would have made - but it _was_ perfect in her eyes.

Jane is blinking hard, clutching the locket harder. This stupid thing! She had ripped it off her neck the very next day and threw it in the cupboard (couldn't throw it out). But some months later, she somehow, stupidly, convinced herself to wear it again. It was going well with her dress. Just for one day. It was matching with the next outfit too. It's just a chain - doesn't mean anything if she wears it. And gradually, it became a part of her, in the way any piece of ornament does in the monotony of daily life, losing its connection to him as well. She doesn't even remember if she is wearing it or not.

Until now. Now that he is standing in front of her, staring at it and her so guiltily. He told her to not wait for him...

She can't help the tears anymore. "What is it to you?" she cries. Then takes another step closer to him. "You said what you had to - that you don't love me..."

Thor tears his eyes away from her.

So he won't speak. He tracked her down and saved her. And here she is standing in front of him sobbing - and _even now,_ he won't speak. Unbelievable how cold-hearted he can be. She shakes her head desperately and cries, "you don't?"

He looks back at her. They both didn't realise how close they had gotten, their faces only inches apart. She is weeping and searching his eyes, probably wondering why one looks different than the other and is scarred. And he is staring into hers, misty-eyed himself.

"No." He says and lowers his head to kiss her - desperate and deep. It takes her a moment, but she kisses him back, weeping some more. Both his arms go around her waist to pull her closer, hers go around his neck to do the same. She even steps upon his feet for leverage. He keeps pulling her in - even though there really isn't any room - pressing his hands in deeper.

After what is a lot longer than it feels to them, they finally break away, breathless - their foreheads still touching. She immediately opens her eyes, looking to step down his feet so her heels don't ruin his boots too much. He opens his eyes a moment later, blinking furiously, but doesn't loosen his arms. She steps down anyway, still very much stuck to him.

He notices and takes one hand off, other still firm at her waist. She also takes one of hers off him to discreetly stroke her cheek, appreciating the feel of his new beard.

"Came here to see you" he whispers gruffly, then smiles a little, "I have now... I'll..." He vaguely gestures around. He doesn't want to, but he needs to leave before it's too--

"No, no, no!" Jane says frantically, having caught on. He can't-- he can't leave. He just got here! "Please. Don't." She begs, holding onto him. "Stay! Please, just stay the night. Leave in the morning..."

Thor looks at her with a pained expression, seeing fresh tears well up in her eyes.

"Can't I ask even this much of you?" She says defeatedly, sobbing some more.

Thor looks at her, then ahead into the horizon. Having made his decision, he looks back down at her and wipes her tears. He gently kisses her again, feeling her smile a little. Getting a firm grip on her, he calls Stormbreaker to his free hand and flies up.

  
They land in the spacious balcony of her hotel room. Jane opens the door and steps inside. Good that it's a hotel room with no attachment to them and not their-- her home. She hears Thor close the door behind her. He grabs her hand and pulls her back, swiftly yet gently pinning her to the wall. He lifts her up and she hooks her legs around his waist - only now noticing the cape and járngreipr gone. The butcher's axe is also braced to the other wall.

They kiss with the urgency back in them - and he hastily undresses her. The shirt and bra are instantly on the floor while the dress is tugged down to her waist. He goes down her neck to get his fill before carrying her to the bed. Again, throwing her on it but rather softly. He strips her remaining clothing off before his own - and is down with her in no time.

Feeling just as desperate as him, she still relishes the feel of completeness for a moment once he is inside her before asking him to move. And just like that, it's like he never went away...

The room's dimly lit with moonlight, but she can still make out the different colors of his eyes and he can see her tears. She carefully touches the scar running through his right one onto his cheek. He flinches at that, though very slightly. So she moves her hand down the shoulder and chest. She does miss the hair to hold onto.

He busies himself with her neck - something he really loves doing - biting and nibbling her chain as well. His hands are all over her, hugging her close. Wanting to make it last longer, he keeps relaxing the rhythm and doesn't seem to realise that he's edging her as he is too occupied with drinking her in.

She wants it to not end as well, but she is only human. By the third time he does this, she grips his shoulder and pleads. "Please..." is all she can manage. He laughs lightly, realising what he did. "Sorry..." he apologises and gets his arm behind her waist so no momentum is lost. It didn't take long after that.

He knows he should get off her so as to not crush her. But he stays there, shaking. Not that she would mind. She never does. Finally, with much effort, he rolls over on his back beside her, waiting for his breathing to calm.

Her eyes are still closed, few more tears escaping down her temples. What if she opens them and he is not there?

She does open them when she feels his hand go across her chest to grab her farther wrist and pull her to him. He wraps his other arm around her, making her lie on her side - almost on him - with her head on his shoulder and chest. He covers them till the waist with the blanket.

Getting one leg over him, she hugs him firmly, loving this arrangement. She looks up at him, and her smile drops. He is staring unblinkingly out of the window.

Jane lowers her head again. All it takes for her is a touch from him... and she just melts, a mess for him. But _nothing_ falters him.

"At least wait for me to fall asleep before you leave, please." Jane's feeble voice cuts through his thoughts. He looks down at her. She is sniffing over and over...

"All I ever did was made you cry..." Thor says, voice just above a whisper. She looks up. "Really do hate me, don't you?"

Jane stares at him.

"I don't deserve to, but can I ask for one last chance?" He says sincerely. "Just this once! I promise I'll make everything right. When this is all over," he puts his hand on her head, "I'll come back for you, I swear. Just give me one last chance, I..." He trails off, because she is still just staring at him.

Then, she chuckles, though her eyes still look just as pained. "You're talking like I can say 'no' to you... Maybe you're lying, maybe you're not..." She shrugs and rests her head back on his shoulder.

It's hard to miss how fast he's breathing after her response when she is lying right on his chest. But it evens out very soon. Instead, she hears the sound of electric sparks over her head. She raises it a little at the familiar sound to see tiny blue sparks flying out of his fingers - a little trick of his she always loved. He wouldn't let her touch it, of course, but she loved seeing these thunder sparks dance in front of her eyes.

She looks at him and he's smiling at her - as if he wasn't making false promises just moments ago... as if they were back 2 years in time and this was just another day in their little paradise.

He'll be leaving in some time, Jane reminds herself. And she doesn't know when or if she'll get to see him again. She should savor this... So she tries to smile as well, and turns her gaze to his fingers and the lightning coming out of them. She hesitantly moves her hand closer, and Thor's fingers start moving the same way hers do - ample space between so as to not hurt her. She smiles wider, quickly getting lost in his trick.

His eyes stay on her, a swirl of emotions stirring inside him. Her smile this moment gives him just the relief and peace he'd hoped finding her alive would. Once again, she asks nothing of him. All she wants _is him._ So kind-hearted and pure, His Jane. She has always ever given him only love, and he...

The thought of leaving her in sometime dreads him. She doesn't even believe he'd come back. She is not wrong to think that of him. What has he ever done for her? But he will come back this time... Even though there is no way to make her believe that other than just returning as promised. So he can at least leave her on a less gloomy note, he had figured.

Just as Jane's hand reaches below his, the sparks vanish and his fingers hold down hers. She looks at him and he pulls her hand and her to himself to meet her lips with his own. He then flips them over and kisses his way down.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a bit aroused at the idea of feeling this mighty new beard down there. She arches up at the sensation, trying to hold onto his short hair, then settling for the sheets instead. He'd have stayed there a lot longer if it weren't for the time, though he doesn't look to be in a hurry at all. He even does the playful biting that always gets her all giggly. She moans louder and then giggles some. He comes up to her at that, smiling wide.

"I don't know what it is that gets you, but I have a feeling it has something to do with me doing something wrong." He wipes his mouth clean as he speaks. But this beard will need more than one swipe of the back of his hand. Maybe she can do it for him.

"Maybe I'll keep it a secret." She answers with a smirk, and decides to let his beard stay a little wet.

"Maybe I'll get it out of you." He must have meant it in a playful manner, but it felt anything but that to her. She blinks up at him, surprised at the sudden grim tone.

He smiles suddenly. Then rolls over to get her on top of him. Her locket dangles on his heart. She lowers her head to taste herself - and him - on his lips as he slides home inside her.

When they finish - both exhausted, having taken longer this time - they cannot manage much more than getting the blanket on themselves. Jane's on her back and Thor on his stomach, stuck to her side even though both are sweaty - his heavy arm resting just below her breasts.

Jane blinks open her eyes to see his face just beside hers with their heads touching. His eyes are closed already and a smile lingers on his lips. She smiles too. So blissfully exhausted, she can only manage a kiss on his cheek before her eyes close on their own.

When he is certain she has fallen asleep, which didn't take long, Thor opens his eyes. He carefully takes his arm off her and rolls over to his back, blinking hard. He almost fell asleep! He shakes his head. He doesn't trust himself to wake anywhere before a good few days if he slept now. He should just leave before he does anything regrettable.

Before he can get up the bed, he feels Jane turn on her side and hold his arm, still very much asleep. What is she doing? She is making this harder for him... He can let it stay for a few minutes perhaps.

He glances around the room, taking in the silence. It's good that it's a hotel room and not their home... her home. If she didn't do away with his locket, he would dread to see how much of him she left in the house. Why would she do that to herself? He told her to not wait for him... He looks down at her.

But he knows why. And he also knows that he doesn't deserve that from her. More importantly, _she_ doesn't deserve this suffering. He thought he could protect her by staying away from her...

Thor hesitantly frees his arm and gets up the bed to put his clothes on as silently as he can. As he is about to button up his trousers, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. If only to amuse himself with his own discolored eyes, he walks towards it.

He can barely recognise the man staring back. The hair, the haphazard lines on the head, the scar running down the cheek, fainter scars and burns on the chest and all the way down the unbuttoned pants. And of course, _even_ his eyes don't match now! What has he become... They'll heal, he tells himself; most of these, at least. But it feels like he has lost so much of himself, his soul, that he just cannot be whole again.

His different colored eyes instinctively flick towards Jane's reflection at that thought. He sighs and turns around. He puts the remaining clothes back on - his eyes fixed on Jane's face. He's dressed now, he should leave. Maybe he can collect her clothes too, he did almost rip them off her, after all. So he picks up her clothes to keep them on the bed - anything to stay there longer.

He looks around, picturing her waking up tomorrow morning to find him gone. He'd be breaking her heart yet again - even though he is determined to be back for her. She shouldn't be going through this again... Maybe he could leave something of his by her side as a memento and a promise that he will return.

But he has nothing on him worthy of that. He should have listened to her and started wearing the chains and bracelets she kept suggesting would look good on him. He feels his pockets anyway. And to his sheer surprise, in the depths of his deep pocket, he does find something. He carefully opens the thick paper that has been folded 4 times, and it's a picture of him and her! He gasps.

It's one of the 'selfie' thing she took. Nothing much, they are both just happily smiling at the camera. But he was quite embarrassed about it, as he had just woken up with messed up hair. Though she insisted it was just the way she wanted. "Shirtless with messy hair - sexy!" she had winked.

He chuckles looking at it now. It wasn't a bad look at all. But he didn't quite appreciate it then when she added this very casual picture of theirs to a little "collage" she was making. There were better pictures! So he sneaked it off there and swore he knew nothing of it when she couldn't find it.

Thor sighs, looking at the crumpled piece of photograph - smaller than his palm even, right corner completely burned off. _This_ is the best he can do. He walks over to the table and finds a pen from her belongings. Then turns the picture over and writes as neatly as he can in her Midgardian language:

_Wait for me._

He places it under her cell phone beside her pillow - picture showing upwards, crumpled and tattered as it may be, and the phone strategically covering the burned corner.

Alright, time to leave at last. He takes a deep breath and looks out the window. Still dark, but it'll be morning soon. He adjusts the blanket on her and bends down to kiss her forehead, making sure to get up before his beard scratches her awake. But he doesn't look back again. Leaving straight out of the balcony door to fly away with Stormbreaker.

And Jane is left alone again, but this time with a promise by her pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I hope it's clear what he meant by "no". 2. Their round 2 got ridiculously explicit in my head, so let's leave it at that. 3. And maybe I have a thing for that beard. *hides face*


End file.
